Friday, November 1, 2013

HELLO NOVEMBER!

 
In between answering the door, I decided to make this Chicken and White Bean Chile.  You can find the recipe here.  You might notice that I have a variety of beans in mine as all I had were garbanzo, chili and black beans.  It made no difference, if anything, it's a little more colorful.  And I threw in some red pepper flakes for some heat, and some chopped celery for crunch and a little fresh color.  It's very simple, you should try it.  

This morning, like every morning, I had The Chew on.  Most of you know I'm hearing impaired so I watch very little TV.  I do like the muffled background noise and sometimes if I hear a lot of laughing, I go over to the television to see what's so funny.  Well, there's a lot of laughing on this show, along with cooking and guest appearances, so I find myself wandering over to it a lot.  Today Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman was on and I really enjoyed seeing her cook (I've never seen her show on the Food Network).  And she made Chipotle Chicken Chile which was quite a coincidence.  The recipe is on her blog today. It's my next comfort food meal.


 


I wonder if I carry around a lot of guilt that I'm not working outside of the house now that my children don't "need" me.  When The Husband comes home from work I tend to nervously rattle on about the events of the day.  When the kids tell me that I don't have the school/job stress they have, I hold my tongue because I refuse to defend myself when they clearly know I paid my dues, but a part of me wishes I had more challenges.  I do hope when they reach my age, they have the sort of freedom and happiness I do.  But still, the guilt.  And our need to be busy to justify our purpose in life.  What do you think of this quote I found (somewhere) on the internet?  Do you feel your self worth is tied into what you accomplish each day?  Do you hesitate to admit you had a completely lazy day or even days?  Or maybe you are even the type that runs like a rabbit on a treadmill because you can't sit still.  I was reading an article in a woman's magazine today about giving yourself a salon facial at home.  It started out, "If you find yourself with 30 minutes to yourself one day, you can pamper yourself..."  I see this type of wording a lot directed toward women.  30 minutes?  That's all we have for ourselves during a 16 hour day?  That's ludicrous!  We would all be walking zombies if we only had that minuscule slice of time in our day for ourselves.  I can honestly say I would spend it in the office of my therapist.  

Okay...just speaking my mind a bit here.  Feel free to open up and vent in the comments section.  I don't suppose there is a party I can join this week to inspire anyone!

Have a great weekend!

XO,
Jane 

45 comments:

Linda said...

Very thoughtful post! I am not actually as busy as most people think I am! I nap often and play Scrabble on Facebook. I have more leisure time now than I have EVER had in my whole life but I don't feel one whit of guilt over it! That's one of the perks for growing older - seeing my face start to wrinkle up and notice how great areas of my formerly smooth skin now looks like it needs ironing!! We have to claim it all! I do tend to be more of a 'doer' but I think it's just my personality. Once I told a friend, "I wish I could just sit and do nothing like YOU do!!" I swear I said that and I did not mean it as an insult! I was in my 20's and wired all the time! I found it impossible to sit STILL for a minute!!

The '30 minutes for yourself' certainly doesn't apply to ME! AT one time it did, though. And I can totally see how it applies to Amber! I am amazed she has ANY time for herself but praise God she is a smart woman and knows that if she doesn't take SOME time for HER - she will burn out for sure and certain!

Now I think I'll go play some Scrabble......

Susan said...

I am retired, after 36 years of teaching and being a director of a preschool. I have no guilt about enjoying my time at home. I have found that this time actually goes faster for me, than when I was teaching! The only thing that bothers me is that people demand to know what I am doing with my time -and I do mean demand! They seem to think that I have to have all kinds of things lined up, or there is something wrong with me. I just smile and say that I am as busy as I want to be and very happy :)

Barbara F. said...

Don't feel guilty, Jane. As you said, you paid your dues. Maintaining a home is a full-time job in my opinion. xo

Kathy Moreland said...

My hairdresser told me today that I am the happiest retiree she knows! I took it as a compliment! I am happy, and I don't feel guilty! By golly, I earned this, the hard way! I worked hard at my job, worked from the time I was 16 except for a 10 month period. Part of the time I worked 3 jobs! That was during my first marriage and my husband was ill. I raised my daughter, practically alone, became a widow at 49! Remarried at 52!! I am happy, and don't mind telling anyone who asks. My answer to what do I do for fun, is, "whatever I want to"! Don't feel guilty. Enjoy the life you've been blessed with! I am thankful for my ability to have retired early and try to enjoy every minute of it!

BTW, your chili looks delicious! I baked the hubby a fruit cake this evening. He loves it so much, and the store had the jellied fruit out so I surprised him. He just ate some and said it was great!

Hope you have a fabulous weekend and enjoy whatever you choose to do. Take care!! :)

Primitive Stars said...

Happy November Jane, yummy chilli, looks so good....enjoy, don't feel guilty, Blessings Francine.

Laurie said...

I love the little sign , thats really cute, your chili sounds yummy and that pie looks wonderful, I hear your distress in this post, please don't feel sad, you are a wonderful productive person, you make that home a happy warm well oiled machine that it is.I have felt the guilt of not working outside our home, it will always be there, I just push it to the back when it comes creeping up , sometimes I think we spend to much time worrying what others think, whats right for one is not right for all.If you wanted to be working outside the home you would be, you enjoy your life, thats the way it should be, there's nothing wrong with that.Thats what I keep reminding myself anyway, take care sweet lady,

Art and Sand said...

I have been feeling a little guilty that I now just play all day. But I am enjoying myself too much to get a job.

Julie Marie said...

Love your wag sign and the candy cane Jane... I am one who usually says you had a busy week, because it always seems like you do... I do know how much you love to read and spend time with family too... I never feel guilty about anything I do with my time... I love getting things accomplished, but don't pressure myself to do it all at once... I love my time spent walking the trail with Tessy... my daily Nature walk with Jack... time spent cooking... reading, whatever the day brings... to those ladies who say they "don't have enough time" to do all the things I do... I say, we ALL have 24 hours in a day... it's how you choose to use it... as long as we are venting, that is one of my biggest pet peeves... women who say they "don't have the time" for something they want to do... I say MAKE the time... quit doing something useless or something that doesn't really make you happy... life is too short... be silly... be happy!... eat chocolate... drink that glass of wine... and if the dusting doesn't get done till tomorrow... C'est la vie!... xoxo Julie Marie

Sarah said...

I retired in 1998 and don't feel the least bit guilty about how I spend my days. I'm busy, but I'm not scheduled. I like my life. Retirement is very liberating. You raised a family, and now you are enjoying the leisure time you rarely had with a busy family. No reason to feel guilty about that! '-)

Melanie said...

I don't decorate for Halloween anymore either. Only fun when there's little kids around to appreciate it. I was at yoga last night and Brian working, so no trick-or-treaters. I didn't know I'd be at yoga though so I bought candy ahead of time. Brian doesn't like candy, so guess who ate most of it? :-( I'm sending the rest of it with Brian to work. Your chili looks good...I've made white chicken chili before. It's a nice diversion from ground meat chili. The link for your recipe went to a site called Lil Luna, but not the recipe? Funny you should mention Elizabeth Berg...I'm just finishing up reading her book, Once Upon a Time, There Was You. It's just "meh". Her older stuff is much better. And I did get to meet her in person years ago at the Des Plaines library! Very nice lady. I've also met Barbara Kingsolver and my favorite poet, Mary Oliver. Your struggles with guilt over not working outside the home and such...I share the same feelings. I think it's because society makes us feel like there's something wrong with us if we're not working outside the home if we don't have little kids at home. And you wouldn't believe how many people ask me what I do all day. And I then feel like I owe them a detailed explanation, which is silly. I really need to think of a snappy comeback for that one. Though I AM truly "busy" most days because I want to be. I am a doer. I rarely nap - rarely feel a need and if I do even fall asleep for 15 min - 1/2 hour, I feel worse. I am now exercising every single day and I have more energy. I also get out of the house and do things with friends or family members quite often. Hubby mentioned to me yesterday that our finances were starting to get really tight & hinted that I should be looking for a job, so I am again. Anyhoo...if a part of you wishes you had some challenges, like you said, then create them. You don't have to work outside the home to have challenges. At home, you can try any kind of new craft, recipe, exercise program. If you want to get out of the house sometimes, look into doing volunteer work. The world is your oyster! :-)

Vicki @ lifeinmyemptynest said...

When I quit my job 1 1/2 years ago, to reduce my stress and help control my diabetes, I decided to not feel guilty and realize, for once I needed to think about me. I haven't looked back and if I am busy, it is my own choosing and I love it. Your blog posts really show your life and I can tell you are happy with the pace of your life too :-)

Shirley said...

Hi Jane, Your post hit home tonight. I now do whatever I want to do instead of what I had to do when I worked. If I want to sleep late, I do it. You have to have the "me" time or you can be sick. I wouldn't want to be raising children this day and age with the way our world is going. I keep thinking about our kids and what they go through. Your chili looked yummy, but I don't cook much at home with it being just me. I hate hearing oh you finally retired, I get this sudden urge to tell them yeah forced, but I just smile and say nothing. I have had time to go to our grandsons programs that is during the afternoon or morning. I don't know why they do that when they know parents work. I have found myself reading more now besides embroidering. Have a wonderful weekend, Hugs and Prayers from Your Missouri Friend.

Cindy (Applestone Cottage) said...

OH Jane,
You have another blog post up and I am still working on mine.
Almost finally done though.
I so loved hearing your thoughts here.
I am in such a different place right now than many women my age.
Taking care of Addison for the past 3 years has been so rewarding and also I have felt like another Mom to her. Today Addie and I went to story hour at the library. Then we checked out books and I took her to McDonalds. Home to read and then her nap. After that we played and watched peppa pig. Those are my days when she is here. And yet trying to explain that to other folks is hard. On my babysitting days I am really busy and sometimes I hardly can brush my hair. On my off days, I am often so tired and just work at getting caught up around here. And yet, I feel guilty not working. But I don't know how to find the energy to do both. Oh why do we women have to carry guilt around. Enough about me! I love how you are so well read! And your cooking and baking is amazing. Just wish we were closer, we could just share our struggles a little more often. I am already ready for another weekend away!! Hugs friend,
Cindy

Lynn@Happier Than a Pig in Mud said...

Lovin' your Halloween bowl Jane! The chili looks good and pumpkin pie is in my near future too! As for being busy, my saying has always been "we find the time to do the things that matter to us". Have a great weekend:@)

Diane Cayton-Hakey said...

I NEVER feel guilty about my not being 'busy'. This is the way life is supposed to be, that by our age we can spend our days as we wish, and if that means being busy, or being lazy... then so be it. NEVER defend yourself at this point in life.. XOX

Deb @ Frugal Little Bungalow said...

I make that same pumpkin pie :) I used to have the original recipe which required about 5 or 6 spices and then they came out with the one stop can thing and it works for me :)

The edges...foil works / also you know how you are to bake it at the higher degree for 15 minutes or so ? I bake it at that degree for about 8 or so then turn it down as I figure it is going to take awhile to get cooler in there.

OH OH OH this makes me want pumpkin pie for breakfast now. Well, I think I'll have some by tomorrow's breakfast thanks to you :)

Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions said...

Your pumpkin pie looks delicious, Jane! I made a gluten free pumpkin bread a little over a week ago. It was so good I'm thinking of making more. Plus, I usually make a pumpkin pie for the hubby every year. He loves it!

I have more time on my hands than I need sometimes. I do feel guilty on those days, especially since I did work full-time before we moved two years ago. I read a lot, too. Some weeks I feel like I was so busy and those are the weeks when I am in "project mode", either painting or sewing things.

Theresa said...

Yep, I paid my dues too:) I worked for 30 YEARS, loooonnnggg years of getting dressed EVERY day, sitting in traffic, shopping on my lunch hour! NOW, I do whatever I want, whenever I want to do it and I don't feel bad a bit!

Your soup AND pie looks yummy! I bet those kids wanted to come in to see what was smelling so good inside!

Have a blessed day dear friend, BIG HUGS!

The Quintessential Magpie said...

Great post and great question!

No, I don't feel guilty for being less busy. I also find that some of the younger people try to make us feel obligated to do the very things they are doing now which we did when we were their ages. They spend the time pampering themselves that we didn't spend. So, no, not guilty. I am primarily referring to volunteer work. I am still a very active volunteer, but if I miss, which I have been forced to do wit h my accident, I don't feel guilty. I have paid my dues, and I double dog dare any of them, save a very few, to prove that they ever did more. LOL

More and more I realize that life is about passages (remember that book?),and this is the stage we are in now. I love to read, too, and I can entertain myself for hours doing that. That was a gift my father gave me.

Love you,

Sheila

Stacey said...

Jane, I understand that feeling myself. At this point I just view my place as taking care of those I love. I'm VERY happy to be doing that. We have old parents and sick people who need someone with time to help a little. I'm so glad to be able to do that without working full time. No guilt!!

Lisa @ Texas Decor said...

I love your trick or treat candy bowl and your wool candy cane! You're making me want to make a pumpkin pie now too. :) You know, I've never felt guilty about enjoying my time at home. I think I've always just felt really grateful that I can stay home and just take care of my family. When I was in elementary school, the teacher asked everyone what they wanted to be when they grew up and I said "a mom." :) I love being home and treasure the days where I don't have to be anywhere or do anything. :) I think I'm pretty much a homebody. LOL! I have a framed quote from Anne of Green Gables in my dining room and it says "The nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens but just those that bring simple little pleasures, following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string." I love that!

backroadjournal said...

Certainly don't feel guilty...you are a terrific wife and mother. :)

Susie said...

Don't you ever feel badly about being home..and taking care of your family...that's the biggest job around. You raised your wonderful kids and have a great relationship...you love and care for your husband and the pets. You should be Queen Blondie:):) I like seeing what you cook in your home. Blessings, xoxo,Susie

Vee said...

Thought provoking and so much so that I haven't thought about it enough to respond other than to say I have felt the guilt.

Divine Theatre said...

Okay? Why are you not on my blog thingamajig anymore?
No wonder I haven't seen you! Somehow, you are not showing up on my Reader?! Hmpf!
Missed you!

xo

Andie

podso said...

Hey I love the ending of this post. You are right on. I admire you for the (somewhat) slowness of your life. You seem to enjoy life and "take time to smell the roses." I am trying to move more and more that direction, but that sense of needing to accomplish something is dead wrong and I need to let that go!

Jacqueline said...

My hubby and I have a thing going - I think he is slightly serious - aren't all jokes - but he teases me that he wants my life sitting around eating bon bons all day. So I looked up the meaning of the word - good good in French or goodies. So when I have a particularly hectic day I tell him, "I know this was supposed to just be a bon bon day, but I did this, and that and this and that!" We both laugh a little, but I too paid my dues and chose my lifestyle and just because he chooses stress, doesn't mean he is going to talk me into it!! I loved your thoughts on it. The chili and pie look delish. Obviously we are too much into the theater of Halloween night to be cooking yummy things like you did, but if you were my neighbor I would have been happy to have eaten some of both!

Debbie said...

Oh my...I am one of those people that have commented about how busy I always think you are, Jane!!!
I only work at the pharmacy three days a week. I work to supply my shopping habit. The other four days I shop, or I sit around the house. After doing my chores, I am on the computer, reading, phloophing, etc. I love to cook, and bake...but that doesn't count as work to me. Gardening doesn't either. I agree with you!! Why should any of us feel guilty for slowing down to enjoy what time we have left? Hello!!! I'm going to be 60 January 1st. not 30!!! When someone makes a wisecrack about me working part-time, I tell them...I only have a few good years left!!! Come back and talk to me when you are my age!!! lol

Kelly said...

Your chili looks good. That's what we're cooking right now in the crockpot for dinner tonight too! Except ours is the regular beef kind. I have a lot more free time on my hands now that my oldest son is in the military (away at boot camp) and my other son is in middle school all day. So, I'm purposely trying to stay busier so I can deal with an empty house now. My house is quieter than it used to be and some times that's good and other times it's not. I've become used to having my children around so it's a new feeling to me. I've got some projects that I will be starting soon. I stay busy with housework, running errands and taking care of our dog. I am also blogging more too. It helps for me to feel like I have a connection with others right now. I completely understand your thoughts on the subject. I think we all do best with a balance in our lives. We need to feel like we have a purpose in life, but not at the expense of our well being. I guess that is what we're all seeking.

chateau chic said...

Unfortunately our culture has downplayed and even criticized the role of creating a home and caring for family, which is a full-time job when the kids are still home. It's a real asset to a family and community when women are available to help and encourage others along the way.
Never feel guilty...what you do IS important!!!
Mary Alice

Claudia said...

Dropping by to say hello. Love the pumpkin pie and yes, my edges always get too brown. And I don't stage food, either. Every time I do it, it just doesn't seem to work.

Enjoy your time, my friend.

xo
Claudia

Carol said...

I love this post, Jane! I can completely identify. In watching my own daughter and DIL (and lots of their friends), I see women who truly fit their new title of "Helicopter Moms." They hover over their children and have a tough time letting them out of their sight. My daughter is the worst, and her girls are 14! It's most difficult to carry on a coherent conversation, but she is constantly watching and listening to what they are doing. All that being said, I think that is why women are so "strapped" for "me-time." Just my opinion, but if they would allow their children to be a bit independent, they might have more than 30 minutes for a self-facial!

Traci said...

Great post! My situation isn't the same but I do have people commenting all of the time about how much time I have because I don't have kids. It's so annoying to me because my not having kids isn't by choice. Not to mention, last time I checked, everyone has 24 hours in a day.It's just everyone doesn't have the same priorities.

I tried pumpkin pie for the first time last year & I can't beleive what I've been missing!

We always have a ton of trick or treaters. This year it rained hard the entire night but we still had a ton, they were just all soggy!

must love junk said...

Jane, great post! I admit to sometimes feeling 'guilt' at just being lazy...why do we do that?
I have to remind myself that I work hard, too, so I deserve some time to relax. I love your outlook on this!
Susan

Teresa@1800 Farmhouse Rd said...

That food looks great! We didn't have little trick or treaters here this year because of the extreme storms that started early am and went into the night :(

Heaven's Walk said...

Oh, I must try your chili recipe, Jane! Looks so good!

I understand what you're saying about feeling "worthy" and challenged and productive each day when you don't work outside the house. I felt that for a couple years after I quit working. But you know, I discovered that living in a farmhouse on 12 acres gives me plenty to keep busy! And I know I'm doing something productive and important when my husband says, "I just want to tell you how much I appreciate all the work you do around here. Keeping the house clean, linens changed, laundry done, yard mowed, leaves raked, etc. Thank you for that." :) That is enough to make me feel cherished and an important part of our working household. I don't need to work outside the home to feel like an integral part of this family, which is a blessing!

xxoo laurie

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Hi sweet Jane!
I wouldn't feel guilty at all for not working. Someone has to mind the store. (Store being HOME!) Sounds like your Halloween went great. Ours too. I LOVE PUMPKIN PIE but I didn't make any yet. I'm afraid I would eat the entire thing. I cannot stay away from sweets if they are around and now the are AROUND! Left over from Halloween.
So..Take care and thanks for stopping by. I always love seeing you!!
Love,
Mona

bj said...

I retired when our first grandson was born. I stayed home and kept him while daughter was in nursing school. I didn't work all the time our kids were growing up.
I have a lot of free time now and love every single minute of it.
Take time to rest and read and enjoy life. It''s waaay too short not to.
xoxo

Deb said...

Happy November Jane!
If you decide to visit Montreal {hope you do ... it is gorgeous}drop me an email ~ I will tell you all the places we visited that I know you would love too ♥

Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

That chicken and white bean chile looks SO good!

Have a happy fall day and please stop by to enter my 1000th post celebration giveaways all week long.

Julia said...

Me encanta la Navidad, que bonito.Las fotografias me encantan, transmiten lo que nos quieres enseñar. Felicidades por tu bloc ha sido todo un regalo el visitarlo, espero que visites el mio y si te gusta espero que te hagas seguidora.
Elracodeldetall.blogspot.com

Doreen@househoneys said...

This idea of being busy being tied to self worth is very much an American trait (well, except for Asia). Europeans know how to relax, and they definitely don't feel guilty about it, nor should they, or YOU either for that matter.

Your husband sounds a lot like mine, he listens to the news first thing in the morning, last thing at night, in the car (I tell him he doesn't need FM radio because he never has it on anyway). Too much in my opinion. I on the other hand, am happy to spend my time taking bubble baths, going for walks, having lunch with a friend, blogging, or visiting my lovely blog friends like you. Yup, that's my life and I'm just fine with it. No guilt here.

And btw, I refuse to watch The Chew! I was an AMC fan for almost 45 years and The Chew took over. lol. I guess it was time though....

Beth said...

Hi Jane, Your posts are full of so many things that you are doing! You create a great home and life for your family. Sounds like you enjoy your life too, which is as it should be. I worked until the past 3 years; my job was eliminated and I decided to retire. I wouldn't mind working part time if I could find the right thing, however, my husband loves having me at home. He likes having the house clean and the gardening done, and he says I'm less stressed (actually he says less CRABBY!) which is good too. lol
I think we all need to find our own fulfillment. My retirement thus far has included volunteer activities at an animal shelter (dog walker) and church, homemaking, and gardening. My garden is nearly 1/2 an acre in size and from March or April through November there are many gardening tasks for me to do. Some days I spend 4-6 hours in the garden. At present, I'm looking forward to getting the garden put to bed so I have more time for reading, etc.
Your chili and pie look great, Jane. I just came from Cindy's blog and read her take on your travels together. Fun! And you ladies both look great!
Have a lovely week, Jane.

Chatelaine said...

Glorification of busy. My sister just quoted that to me today. We had lunch and I was complaining about my lack of time.

We both decided that it was just a situation of poor planning or maybe a lack of planning. With elderly parents and one of them in a nursing home it seems like our lives are spent working, sleeping, and going to the nursing home.

Don't feel guilty for not working, you are the envy of many and you certainly paid your dues.

Jacqueline~Cabin and Cottage said...

Hi Jane! I enjoyed the discussion in the comments. Who needs a linky party!? I have been crazy busy all my life until the last few years. I like it better now. Way better. Keep those home fires burning.