It was that time to start thinking about what I wanted to give up for Lent. Usually it takes me awhile because I try to come up with something that I will miss the least, something that is easy to give up (great Catholic, aren't I?). But this year I knew it well in advance and although it could have been a New Years resolution, I thought it would be better for lent, because if I messed up, well, HE would know. So what did I give up? I am giving up asking people for help and favors. Anything that I can do myself, for myself and others.
If you have been reading some of my recent posts, you know that I can get up on my high horse when I feel people (my family in particular) aren't pulling their weight. As my friend Pat from Gypsy Heart said, "Do I look like I am walking around with a shirt that says Hilton on it?". Well, I think I got most of that out of my system, or at least I came up with some solutions and some things I will just have to live with. They are universal problems and well, if the universe hasn't figured it all out... So you might think it odd that I am giving up the very thing that I have been fighting for, but no, I'm not in the least. I will continue to have my expectations, but it is time to take a look at my responsibilities and how I manage to bump them off on others (gasp).
Case in point: Abigail uses my car for school (and for her mani/pedi's, tanning, mall runs and the occasional visit with a friend). So I only see fit that since she is using my car, I can ask her to stop and buy milk and pop, drop off a package at the post office, bring home the dry cleaning and take the car through the car wash. After all, she is using my car. And well, there we have it, all of Blondie's errands for the day are taken care of. I sit back with a Cheshire cat smile and if I want, I can stay in my jammies all day. And I have. Occasionally I don't even brush my hair.
I do this with The Husband too. I catch him before he leaves from work to ask him to pick up this or that at the grocery store or stop by a friends house to get a book I am borrowing. After all, I am in the middle of making his dinner. Probably in my jammies.
So I ask you to look into your heart of hearts and tell me if you ever do any of this. This taking advantage of a good situation. Do I sound ruthless? In my head I justify this, as I have illustrated. But is it fair?
I racked my brain trying to come up with something to justify my behavior. I was starting to meet some resistance on the part of the slaves, er...family. I was accused of never leaving the house (true), of blogging half the day (true), of neglecting my duties (well, um, okay...true) And so I made my decision and decided to start straight away with my new found sense of doing it all myself. Active Blondie. Off and running everyday. Smiling and laughing all pink cheeked with energy and glee. Well, it didn't take long to fail miserably and here is what happened.
On Saturday I went out to Michael's with my daughter and then out to lunch. Afterward I was to stop at the pharmacy and pick up prescriptions for myself and The Husband. Emily and I had a wonderful afternoon and it was only until I was back home, in the house hanging up my coat, that I realized I had forgotten to get the prescriptions. The very first thought that popped in to my head was, The Husband can pick them up on his way home from the office, where he had gone to work for a few hours. My sacrifice never crossed my mind. To make a long story short, The husband was NOT happy to hear from me and was even less happy when he found the pharmacy had closed by the time he got there. And so we did not speak to each other all evening, as that is how it usually goes when things get ugly between us.
The next morning I lay in bed thinking and admitting to myself that I had been wrong. Wrong from the minute I hung up that coat instead of putting it back on. I got out of bed with a renewed purpose.
And there in the kitchen I found a dozen roses, a luscious carrot cake and a mushy Valentine's Day card from The Husband. I went and gave him a big hug and kiss and all was good between us. But then I did something, something so small. I threw on some clothes and actually brushed my hair and I went to the drugstore, got our prescriptions and also picked up a magazine, batteries for my camera, some discount Valentine's Day chocolates, a newspaper...the whole time thinking, "Wow, this getting out thing is fun!" But most of all I realized the err of my ways. And that if I wanted to get on my high horse over chores not getting done or a golf bag sitting in my living room for a week, that's okay. And it is okay to delegate duties to everyone to keep a house running. And it is okay to ask for a favor once in awhile. But as a woman of the new millennium, I have to take care of myself and not rely on others to do it for me. And thankfully I have a husband who knew I would figure it out.
I won this award from Hummer of Joyous Tomorrows. Thank you so much. As this was a lengthy post, I am going to list 7 things about myself and pass the award on in my next post.
Thanks so much for visiting me today.