Pink Saturday No Show

I wasn't going to participate in Pink Saturday this week as I had a gazillion things to do today. But sitting down to a quiet evening tonight I thought I would go ahead. Unfortunately I missed the deadline by a few hours. Note to Blondie: Start writing on your calendar, it's not just there for the pretty pictures! :-)

Well just for giggles I downloaded some pictures and I think the ones I snapped this morning qualify as pink, so I'm posting them for anyone who visits.

Above is a picture of my baby boy, Milo. He is a rat terrier (very much like a Jack Russell). He loves to sleep in cozy warm spots and this morning The Husband and I shared coffee in front of the fire before he went off to work. Milo curled up like a baby and in no time was off to dreamland. Note there is some pink in my couch, just a little. I love pink, but I love a lot of colors (they go along with my multiple personalities) ;-) I do favor pastels though, with a few punches of bright hues here and there. The couch is fading a bit but I like that, flowers fade too!

While I was stoking the fire I took a picture of my favorite chair. The bright early morning sun made it look so pretty. This is my favorite spot to curl up and read, it's very comfy and right next to the fireplace.
Hopefully I will have my act together to participate in some of the theme days next week. They look like such fun and I enjoy seeing what my favorite people post.
Tomorrow we are off very early to the lake. I'm so looking forward to it as I have not been there since last October. Our resident carpenter finished our outdoor work and moved inside and it has been quite a mess. New hardwood floors were put in throughout and he had to replace the huge windows in the great room as the seals had broken and gases had turned them yellow. Though that work has been done I still hope to get some before and after pictures. I really look forward to summer when I can post pictures of the outside. That was a big job, extending our patio out to a retaining wall and building a little guest house. I also started a little English garden and am so psyched to start adding more to it. I will come home Sunday with some pictures that I will take this weekend. We plan to just stay in, keep a fire going in the fireplace and the big old wood burning stove we have, rent some movies which I haven't done in ages, and maybe pop out for dinner. There definitely will not be any long walks in the woods or iceskating because of the cold but it will be good to be back.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and though it is starting to sound monotonous, stay warm! :-D

xoxo
Jane

Thankful Thursday from the Weatherbunny

"Ahhh", you say, "what does she have to be thankful about today?" Well, I am thankful that I am cozied up in bed in my flannels with my laptop and not out in that deep freeze. This is not a great picture of today's newspaper but I couldn't bear to leave my cozy nest to trek off to the office and scan it. The banner across the paper's title is actually a graph with the temps. Where the graph rises you can see (or could have seen had I scanned the picture!) that we are in for a warmup next week. Ya Hoo! 20 degrees! I'm gonna dig out my shorts and tank tops!! But seriously, right now it is sunny and a balmy 10 below. But I am warm. The house is warm. We stocked up on all provisions to get us through this familiar but unwelcome cold snap, lots of firewood, a well stocked refrigerator, some good books...but alas, I'm out of coffee and pop, my main staples. So after I write this post I am going to have to suck it up, don my winter gear (layers and layers of clothes), warm up the car for 10 minutes and then brave that 2 block drive to the grocery store. What we will go through for our little addictions! :-D
I have given myself the title of Weatherbunny err...meteorologist ??? as I have posted 3 pictures of our winter weather and snow in the short time I have been blogging. And I am not even very seriously bothered by the weather having lived here all my life. But, it is dreary January and there is not much else for one to do but look out the window. Next I'll be saving rubber bands and stray pennies! But I am thankful that we are all warm and safe, that Chicago has warm shelters and food for the homeless or less fortunate who could not have heat, and that the news consistently reminds us to check on our elderly neighbors and friends. It is a good feeling to see your community come together in a time of need. I am indeed thankful today.
One last blast from my Arctic world:

I took a shot of my backyard this morning (you can see it is waaaay back in the distance, no way was I walking any further in that snow!!). That is our picnic table and recycle bin, frosted like cakes. I'd say about 7 inches of the white frosting. Believe me, the dogs were not romping around in that stuff this morning, I had to give Layla (all eight pounds of her) a little nudge out the door to do her thing.
I have heard that people are going outside with thermoses of boiling water and whipping it up into the air and it freezes on contact and crashes down like ice. Also, children go out and blow bubbles and they freeze on the wand like big glass balls. Wow!

Now I want to give thanks for two other happenings since I last made a post. As you must have seen from my sidebar (I also have a billboard out on Route 59), I have won two awards!!! :-)). The first Lemonade Stand award came from Susan at A Summer Daydreamer. Susan is not only a beautiful person, she is smart and creative and very computer savvy. She has certainly helped me out with some of her technical blogging tutorials! She had won her award after only about a month of blogging (and acquiring about 80 followers, if I'm off Susan, let me know). She participates in all the weekly themed blogs (her tablescapes are gorgeous!) and on top of that has found time to put together Outdoor Wednesday. You can go to her blog to get all the info on this if you wish to participate. I think it is going to be a big hit! The general rules when you receive this award is to pass it on to 10 other people that have "turned lemons into lemonade". I am going to take exception to this rule as since I have been blogging for only a short time, and while I feel all of my fellow bloggers are deserving of this award, well...I just haven't followed enough or have been followed enough (?) to really pass this award on to ten people. So I am giving this award to Laura at Shorehouse Chic . Laura is a real "Jersey girl" and she and her husband bought a fixer-upper on the Jersey shore a year ago. Her blog chronicles the adventures of their rehab/reno tales. Laura is a thrifty bargain hunter but the majority of my admiration goes to the fact that she can rewire a lamp!! What else is the girl capable of? I highly recommend you visit her blog. She is smart and funny and gives of herself to many charities and causes. She is definitely someone you will want to get to know. After receiving the Lemonade Award it is recommended that you give blog love back to the person you received the award from and then pass the award on to 10 fellow bloggers. Congratulations Laura!!
My second award is from a sweetheart of a gal, Sheila of the Quintessential Magpie. I can write for hours about Sheila ...well you all know I can write for hours about anything!! But Sheila was always kind enough to comment on my posts and when I started to follow hers, I immediately sensed that beneath her great humor and creativity lied a very warm, peaceful, spiritual woman. Her posts are LOL to read most of the time and in a lot of ways I feel we have been friends for a long time. I hope none of you feel that way because I want to have her all to myself! ;-). This award has been deciphered as meaning that the recipient "invests and believes in proximity" with the hope that "when these ribbons are cut, even more friendships are propagated". I hereby pass this award on to Carrie at Buzzings of a Queen Bee. I came upon Carries blog recently. She is a young wife and mother in Denver. She is, like all of us, a bargain and thrift hunter and pursues all avenues to create with what she has found or been given (read about her new sewing machine)! As a mother she is always on the go and her days are filled to the brim. Her writing is incredibly warm and light hearted and for any of us who are mothers she is quite the example of how we can improve by running, juggling, multitasking and writing blogs. On top of this, Carrie is two short weeks away from having her second baby!! She has a lot of blogger friends and I can certainly see why and that is why I feel this award is so fitting. So give Carrie a visit and share in her preparations for new baby Carrie-style! This award should be passed on to 8 people deserving of the award and I believe Carrie has quite a following to choose from. Blog love should also be sent back to the person the award was received from. I just luuuv that! :-D
Lastly, I promise I will not let so much time go by between posts, hence they will not be so wordy, to put it mildly. That said, I will conclude with a short synopsis of our last holiday party!! Since the Irish side of the family was spread all about over the holidays, yes, some even in Ireland, we concluded the last of the Christmas celebrations here last Saturday night. Blondie has not mentioned that she is recovering from a back injury suffered in an undisclosed airport around Christmas as she only has herself to blame for it (although she might file suit against a third party known only as Mr. Large Suitcase). And so I have kept in secret of my heart many days over the last 3 weeks spent flat on my back, popping muscle relaxants and pain pills, and on the days, or moments that I could get up, I could only speak gibberish and was promptly sent back to bed. For that reason I have not been blogging much so as to not confuse you with the details of my holidays in a little village in Bali...Soooo, I very quickly discarded my happy pills and began preparations for this final party. The old back was not doing too well on the day of said party but I was determined to pull it off , but mostly I wanted to get really buzzed on some wine after being abstinent since Christmas. Yes, New Years Eve was a quiet night sitting in front of the TV eating sandwiches and drinking pop, not so much as one glass of champagne at midnite. :-( So anyway I wanted to show you my little buffet, in particular the beautiful plate of prosciutto and melon that I made:



That's it in the forefront and that is pretty much how it looked at the end of the night. I don't know if this was due to unsophisticated tastes or that the potato chips were just darn good, but that was a waste of my energy. Another thing I made was inspired from a picture I saw in the February issue of Romantic Homes on page 50. (By the way, that was a great issue with so many bloggers and online shop owners we know or know of highlighted on their ideas of romance). In the interview with Libby Langdon there is a picture in the collage of what looks to be a pottery type planter filled with ice holding glass containers of veggies. I thought, what a neat idea. So I attempted to pull it off:

This is my version. It's kind of hard to see, but it was a big hit. Not only an innovative way to serve your crudites visually, but they stayed cold and crisp all evening (including the dip). It also helped that I made it ahead of time and put it out in the freezing garage. So moving on, the following is my tutorial on a new twist of serving veggies, the Libby way:

My bowl is from the bargain shelf at Target. I bought it about 3 years ago for $2.00. I later read on the bottom that it was poisonous to serve food in so I put it away for lack of a better idea of what to do with it. So it finally debuted last Saturday and fulfilled it's mission as a vessel for my veggies. So there you have the vessel. No empty flower pots to be seen. Sorry Libby.

You must fill those clear plastic drink cups with assorted vegetables, and I stress that you do this first as the ice will flip and tip them over. Then just toss some ice all around and voila!! I thought a votive candle would look really pretty in it but we had some kiddies there and I knew they would maul the vegetables first. Oh yeah, the dip goes in the middle which is a good idea as it also stays cold and no one goes home poisoned by spoiled mayo and sour cream.

So that is it from me today. I am Thankful I got to share this with you and I hope to get back into the game on a more regular basis. Take care everybody and look out east coast-this great weather is headed your way and this comes straight from your favorite midwest Weatherbunny!

xoxo

Janie

Snowflake Thoughts

The snow started to fall very gently last night in huge, soft clumps. A couple of times I got up during the night to look out the window. It can be so mesmerizing, the dark trees silhouetted against the pale sky, the falling flakes illuminated under the street lights. It makes me feel meloncholy in a way, just looking out at my street, my place in the world. The beautiful world, if only in that peaceful moment. But these pictures above and below were taken this morning when I took my daughter to school. These are on my street, yes, my pretty little city street! :-)

The photos almost look black and white don't they? I guess because there was no sunlight. Which brought me to my Snowflake Thoughts once I was in and warm and seated at the breakfast table with my coffee. Looking out the window I felt such a complete calmness, a definate difference from all the hustle and bustle of the holidays. I have set my goals, my resolutions, my plans, my schemes!! And I have read so many blogs that were so creative and inspiring on the subject as well. So now my thoughts and plans for the year have been added safely to my Gratitude Journal and that book is closed, but ready for a sneaky peak if I lose my way off the path. And so now I have thoughts floating around in my head, lazy thoughts about getting into a new book or looking through some old photos. Maybe cleaning out my craft bins in hopes to come up with a creative endeavor. Each thought is as different as a snowflake, but I am peaceful enough to just sit still for now and let the thoughts run on. I feel content and my world is good.

I did want to interrupt my reverie for a moment to show you a few "Good Things" as Martha would say:

This is the new coffee maker my husband brought home recently. I thought if Rhoda could share her new vacuum cleaner you all might be receptive to my boasting about this coffee maker. It is a Keurig One Cup. When I first saw it I thought who would want to make just one cup at a time? I like to top mine off to warm it up (and lose track of how much I've had until I have the caffiene jitters!!) But the beauty of it is in the K cups you use. They are the size of the little plastic cream cups you get in diners. They come in boxes of 18 and a brochure accompanies the coffee maker with a list of all the gourmet coffees you can order on their website (as well as tea) and you can also get a sampler pack to narrow down your choices or just have a different cup everyday. I have found the boxes of K cups at Target for $9.99 a box (so far, at my Target at least, I have only found Caribou and Green Mountain brands). Gloria Jeans also sells the boxes as well as single samples for 49 cents. You just pop the K cup in, pour a cold cup of water in the lid that pops up and in 3 minutes you have a nice, fresh cup of hot tea or coffee. I am sooo loving it!! Lastly, if you are interested in purchasing one, I have seen them at fine department stores, sometimes on sale for 25% off.

Finally I wanted to comment on something else that arrived in a beautifully packed box yesterday along with my dove lamp. This is a geranium cachepot I ordered from Heather Bullard's web boutique. I hope my pictures do it justice:

The following is a closeup. I was hoping you could see the crackle effect. It is so precious and so much more than I expected in every way. I would suggest that you drop everything immediately and go to her website or blog. Her creativeness and warmth comes through in all she writes and photographs.

I think I am going to order some bulbs to force in it until springtime brings the outdoor variety! (another Snowflake Thought :-). I am a firm believer in online shopping and I have convinced many a nay sayer to my way of thinking. Foremost, not only will you find very original items, but if you are shopping perhaps Macy's or even a catalogue (L.L. Bean, Ballards, what have you), you will see the complete inventory as opposed to what you see on their floors. To become a saavy online shopper, always, always, always read the dimensions. Use a tape measure to compare the dimensions to something else in your home if you have a hard time imagining the size. Always save the packaging for returns and take advantage of free shipping which a lot of larger merchants are using in this competing market. And finally, nothing, nothing is better than getting a package delivered with a new treasure inside.

If you have snow, have some Snowflake Thoughts this morning. If it is warm by you, bask in Sunshine Thoughts. And do it with a great cup of Joe, maybe from Keurig. (No, I do not work for them!!)

xoxo

Janie

Is New Years for the Birds?

I love getting stuff in the mail!! And look what arrived in a big box yesterday! Isn't she cute? (Well I think it looks like a she. Then again I also think it looks like a dove and Abigail says it is a pigeon...)

Here is another view of the the Dove Lamp. I bought this when I was down in Naples over Christmas at a little shop on 5th Avenue called Renaissance Imports. I just flipped out because I love anything with birds.

Please don't tell anyone. Have you ever noticed that when someone sees that you have more of just "one" of something, they think you are starting a collection. I once had a ceramic rooster (oh no, another bird) in my kitchen and slowly I started getting gifts, a rooster picture here, a rooster figurine there... until I said no more roosters! Has that ever happened to anyone?

Well I thought I would share my lamp which we had shipped to us and a few of the other little feathered friends I have. While I was taking my pics I snapped one of Milo looking out into the cold, gray backyard. It's going to be awhile until we hear any birds singing out there!

Stay warm everybody!!

xoxo

A New Years Eve Romantic Dinner

I hope everyone has their New Years Eve plans made and if you are venturing out, no matter where it may be, I wish you a wonderful evening. For those of us staying in, whether it be to watch Dick Clark's New Years Rockin" Eve or that we just aren't that popular anymore, I have created a sumptuous menu for you and yours. I know The Husband and I haven't gone anywhere in years, that's so eighties (and I mean it's the last time we went out!). So plan on putting the kiddies to bed early tomorrow by eliminating any sugar containing food products as of this minute, search around the house for any candles that were not used up during the last power outage, and get out the champagne glasses (juice glasses also work fine). I have a romantic dinner for two that is a easy as it is elegant. Hence, most of these recipes were adapted from my all time favorite book Entertaining Fast and Fancy by Renny Darling. As with any recipe that I may publish, I probably have tweaked it a little (or a lot) so technically I can call it my own. Leave it to me to never leave anything well enough alone. Hey, that's how great cooks are born. But I do give Renny credit, as her appetizer and soup were big hits the first time I made them, but since I tweaked them I must say...well I'll leave well enough alone. Enjoy.

Campari Cooler

A little something to sip while you prepare the appetizers. Feel free to sip until the ball drops if desired.

1 oz. Campari

1 oz. peach schnapps

2 oz. cranberry juice

2 oz. orange juice

1 t. lime juice

7 Up

Pour the first 5 ingredients into a shaker filled with ice. Shake. Strain into highball glass, add a splash of 7Up. Looks cute with a slice of orange floating in it. But who's looking?

Pork Meatballs with Coconut and Apricot Dipping Sauce

This recipe can serve a lot of people. Make the meatballs in advance and save some for the Rose Bowl.

1 lb ground pork

1 egg

3 T grated onion

1/8 t ground ginger

salt & pepper to taste

1 green onion finely chopped

2 slices of bread, crusts removed, soaked in water and squeezed dry

4 water chestnuts, finely chopped

Coconut flakes

Combine first eight ingredients and mix until thouroughly blended. Shape into 3/4 in. balls, roll in coconut flakes, place on cookie sheet and bake at 350 turning twice for 10-15 minutes.

Serve with:

Apricot Dipping Sauce

1 c apricot jam

4 T brown sugar

2 T vinegar

3 T ketchup

Dash of cayenne pepper

In a saucepan combine all ingredients and simmer for 5 minutes. Serve with toothpicks and meatballs. Sauce can be stored in fridge for one month. Great as a glaze on chicken, maybe during Rose Bowl. Can you tell I'm having fun with these text colors??

Spinach and Rice Lemon Soup

Hopefully you both like spinach. If not, skip to the next course. You will however have to come up with a vegetable on your own as I am omitting one based on all the lovely vitamins you will get from this soup.

1 onion, chopped

6 cloves garlic, finely chopped or grated

4 shallots, finely chopped

2 T butter

4 c chicken broth

2 10 oz. packages frozen chopped spinach

4 T fresh lemon juice

1 c. cooked rice (try the 90 second microwave rice to save time)

salt to taste.

Saute first 4 ingredients in stock pot until onions are soft. Stir in the chicken broth and bring to a simmer. Add remaining ingredients and simmer 5 more minutes. Serve!

Steak Filets

You probably already know how to grill a steak but I call this the Blonde Method and it does not require grilling at all. I think you will find that this filet is more moist and tender than the leading brand of cat food. Ooooh, that was unappetizing. I'll stop trying to be funny and let you cook.

2 4-6 oz. filets

2 T butter

1 T olive oil

Coarse salt and fresh ground pepper

Press salt and pepper into all four sides of filets. Heat butter and olive oil in skillet over medium high heat. Add steaks and brown on all sides. Adjust heat level to insure a nice crispness without burning. Reduce heat to low and cook filets 3 minutes for rare. Turn over and cook opposite side 3 minutes. Results amy vary. I suggest you use a meat thermometer. Inserted in the middle of the filet, it should read 140 F for rare, 160 for medium and 170 for well. Let filets rest about 2-3 minutes before serving to seal in juices.

Optional sauce: Add 2 T butter to juices in pan over medium heat. Before butter starts to brown, add approximately 1 1/2 c good red wine (break into the bottle you are going to serve with this tasty meal). Increase heat and scrape up all particles of meat, stirring constantly. Serve when sauce is reduced to a nice degree of thickness. Looks nice poured on plate with filet on top and a few chopped chives sprinkled over.

Dessert

This is up to you. I happen to like Chocolate Pudding with a dollop of whipped cream and some fresh raspberries on top. The instant pudding is great (or even a Jello Pudding Cup for that matter. My favorite). If you are ambitious, Ina Garten has a great homemade recipe which you can find on the Food Network website.

I hope you can enjoy these recipes, if not tomorrow night, then another time. Please let me know if you have any questions. Have a wonderful and safe New Years Eve. As far as New Years Day, I have one last little concoction you can make when you wake up:

Body & Soul Reviver

Guaranteed to soothe the soul when you awaken from the night before. This is considered acceptable morning fare this day only!

1 0z Branca Menthe (found in fine licquor shops)

1 oz cognac

dash of orange bitters

Pour all ingredients into shaker with ice. Shake. Strain into shot glass. Feel better already??!!

My best to all of you. By the way, I think The Husband and I will be ordering pizza.

Love,

Janie (aka Blondie)

Christmas In Naples

Not exactly your average holiday picture! As I mentioned in a previous post, we were spending Christmas down in Naples, Florida where my son Kevin (the golf pro) is positioned for the season. His club here in Chicago is closed for the winter as they frown very much on golfing in the snow. He was sooo excited we were coming to him. So the girls were able to leave leave their boyfriends behind (oh, young love) and I was able to leave my winter wonderland, which wasn't so much of a wonderland the day we left. A blizzard caused a 3 hour delay of our flight but Blondie managed as she can sleep just about anywhere. In fact, I fell asleep on The Husbands shoulder sitting at our gate and when he got up to go for a walk I slumped over on to the shoulder of the man sitting next to me. My kids watched in absolute embarrassment as the man gently nudged me off him and quickly abandoned his seat.

This is the place we stayed, The Vanderbilt Beach Resort, right on the beach. We had a beautiful suite with 2 bedrooms, 2 full baths, a living room, dining room and big eat-in kitchen. The balcony off the living room faced east and The Husband and I had coffee every morning just as the sun came up. In the evening we sat on the balcony facing west and watched the sky turn all shades of pink and blue.

This is the happy golfer and doesn't he look happy, still in uniform but relaxing with his family. That just goes to show you, home is where your heart is.

Blondie on the balcony with her favorite guys! This was Christmas day. I simplified things by making two turkey breasts. We had to use store bought gravy and rolls, but I made homemade dressing and Emily made her famous cream cheese and sour cream mashed potatoes. For dessert we had pumpkin pie (traditional) and key lime pie (regional)!

Abby and Jeff looking out at the ocean beyond the trees...

Four smiling kids minus three french hens...

A trip through the everglades. It's amazing that these funky looking roots are alive and well and have bright green leaves way up high over the swamps.

A luncheon feast at a seaside fish shanty complete with crab cakes, blue crab tails and fried gator chunks, all washed down with cold Corona's. Heaven!

Pelicans everywhere. They flew so close to our balcony I think they would have whizzed by close enough to touch if we hadn't had screens. The first time I saw pelicans flying in Mexico I asked the consierge what sort of dinasours they were (a very blonde moment). However son Kevin topped that when his siblings were recounting the animals they saw on a trip to the zoo Christmas Eve. Jeff said "We fed the zebras" to which Kevin replied "So what". Then Jeff said "And we fed the unicorns" to which Kevin replied "Big deal". OH YEAH!! I might add Kevin is also blonde. Score two. Three if you count me sleeping on stangers shoulder in airport.

The Husband and Blondie on the beach.

Time to say goodbye. We walked on sand instead of snow but we brought back memories of a very special Christmas together as a family. My wish to you, my new and dear friends, that you had Christmas in your hearts wherever you were and wouldn't it be a wonderful world if we could keep a bit of it in our hearts everday?

My Sister

That the sky would lift
That I'd find my place
That I'd see your face in the door
And the sun would glint
On a time well spent
On a time that ain't no more

David Gray

Slow Motion

I don't know how to start this other then I miss you. It has been a little over a year since you have been gone. I try not to bring back memories but I am now because I have a place to be myself and to share.

I remember the time you were "babysitting" me and our two younger sisters, We were sitting on the couch and you kept shoving powdered donuts in my mouth to keep me awake. Lol!

And the many times that Dad would have us order a pizza from the "Black family" (that was their last name). They made pizza's from their home in a special oven and we of course were in the middle of nowhere so that's all we had. Dad would fall asleep and we would have to ride the bike 3 blocks to pick up the pizza. No small feat since we had to ride the last block uphill, me on the handle bars, you peddling, and wow, what a fun trip going downhill home, me trying to balance the pizza, you trying to maneuver the brakes!

Fast forward. I lived in a studio apartment in Lincoln Park. After I had my fill of living alone and trying my best to dress like Madonna, (it was the eighties after all!) I came to your house crying my eyes out over a guy who had totally done me wrong. You let me in, made us some tea and you sat listening to me pour out my heart. It was 2:00 a.m. and you had to be at work in the morning, but you comforted me. I will never forget that night.

You were always ahead of the game. I think you did shabby chic before Rachel Ashwell even wrote a book. You scouted antique shops, your home was was a mix of old and new and you loved pictures and paintings of pastel flowers. And what a gardener you were. Your favorite colors were pink and blue. Your flowers thrived as did you, you were always brown as a berry just from your gardening

You had a dry sense of humor, always coming in at the end of something someone would say and we would laugh our butts off. You were a little shy but you had plenty to say, you were just so damn funny.

Just around fall last year you went to the hospital for just a minor problem. 8 hours later you were diagnosed with cancer of the brain, spine, liver and lungs. The picture above, that I keep on my nightstand was taken just 2 weeks before, when you went pumpkin picking in the country. As your daughter would say later; " The woman could not take a bad picture".

Who would know that this was the beginning of the end? How can you pray for a miracle when the odds are so against you? My most heart wrenching moment came when I heard that you asked your doctor, "What will it feel like when I die?"

Just after last Thanksgiving, 2007, I got the call that you were gone. You have never seen Janie move so fast. Out the door, a 45 minute drive done in 20, I met the paramedics as they were coming up the sidewalk and they let me through solemnly. You were propped up in a hospital bed in her living room, looking like you were taking a rest. I held your tiny hands, still warm, cradled your head, your body, wanting never to let go.

How do we deal with loss like this? I watched my mother in her last hours. my mother in law also. I fed my mother through a tube in her stomach and read to her hours at a time when her eyesight failed. My mother inlaw, someone I so worried about accepting me 15 years ago, was also someone I loved so much and had to let go of.

I don't know how to end this. I just wanted it to be an outlet, which is why I started this blog. I don't care who is out there listening right now, I just want everybody, anyone, to know how special you were to me. Losing a sister is like like losing a limb. You go on, but it is so much harder.

I love all of you that visit my blog and I know we are here to lift each others spirits. But I know in my heart we are a sisterhood and I hope that I will be an example that we don't need to hold back on the realities of life.

I so wish everyone a magical and wonderful Christmas. May God bless you and yours and thank you so much for letting me let Leslie's light shine on in spite of a life taken too soon. Don't pity me, she would rejoice in the fact that I have found a place to open up.

oxox

Janie